Even though I had headphones on while my husband, Michael, talked on the phone with his Mom, I still overheard him talking about when we said goodbye to two of our cats. We lost both of them to renal failure in the span of about three years. That makes me so sad. They were awesome little “kids” to us.
So, I turned up the volume and listened to Nine Inch Nail’s “The Fragile”. I’m in a fucked up mood tonight.
And Then There Were Three…
So, I’ve been looking for classmates on Facebook. I discovered a while back I wasn’t the only gay guy in my class. Today, I discovered a third.
High school was such a lonely place for me. I socialized with the Jesus-freaks — I was brought up “Christian” — and I didn’t have anyone I could talk to. Even if I found someone to talk with, I couldn’t really even talk about being gay because I couldn’t even admit to myself I was gay. I was led to believe I was defective.
I kept praying for the sky god to fix me. It took me at least three years to tell myself, then my friends, then my family. I decided that there was nothing wrong with me. I am who I am. If someone can’t deal with that, then they can fuck off.
I’m as mad as hell…
I don’t know why I am sharing this right now. A decade ago, I would have apologized for boring people. Today, if this bothers you, then fuck off, and un-follow me. Then, realize that even if you don’t think it’s alright if someone else is gay that until you are in my shoes, you won’t know what it’s like.
I do find it funny that “Christians” are the first to judge. Even though there are whole sections of the Bible dealing with straight people’s sins, the religious always find the few verses to throw in my face. Have they never heard about glass houses?
What really pisses me off is that people have been led to believe that gay men and lesbians want “special rights”. All I want, all gays and lesbians want, is to have the same laws, same rights, and same responsibilities as straight people.
Straight people have it so fucking good. Have straight people ever even given the fact that their relationships are recognized by every state?
If Michael and I leave Washington State, then we become legal strangers. We’re nothing more than friends in the eyes of other states. Except, if we travel to Oregon or California, then our Domestic Partnership is recognized there. In Nevada, we would have to re-register as Nevada Domestic Partners. But, in most other states, we are not recognized.
It’s difficult. It’s fucked up. And that’s the point I’m trying to convey. No straight person would ever have to deal with this shit.
This is why it’s actually easier to grant gay and straight couples equal marriage rights. Because people feel they must stick their noses into everyone else’s business, gay people are prohibited from marrying one another in all but five states.
I’ve heard it suggested before that “gay marriage” is a “special right”. It’s been suggested that gay people can marry, as long as they are marrying someone of the opposite sex! What kind of fucked up logic is that? But because people feel they must enforce discrimination onto others we have this shit to deal with.
Even once a gay couple marries in one of the few states that solemnize their marriage, they are still single in the eyes of the federal government! And, though straight couple’s marriages are recognized across state lines, other states have permission to ignore a gay couple’s marriage if the couple moves! Thanks to a law known as the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), gay people, even if they win the battle to get married in their home state, are discriminated against by the feds.
Married gay couples can’t file taxes as a married couple, they are denied Social Security survivor benefits, they can’t sponsor a foreign national for immigration, and it goes on, and on, and on.
In most states it’s perfectly legal to refuse to hire a gay man or lesbian, or fire them.
Gay or lesbian soldiers can fight — and die — for this country as long as they keep their orientation from their commanding officers.
I know what I want; all gay and lesbians know what they want: to be treated equally under the law.
In 2010 society is still arguing that there are reasons that we should be discriminated against. Do they not realize what they are saying? Obviously not.
For years, gays and lesbians have donated, volunteered, and voted for the Democratic party. We kept being told that if we just waited until there was a Democratic majority in Congress and a Democrat in the White House, then we’d finally get to move on important equality laws.
Well, we got a Democratic supermajority in Congress and the more progressive of the two Democrats in the White House! Hot damn! Surely, we’ll get somewhere, and fast!
But then, Obama has his Department of Justice issue a legal brief arguing FOR denying marriage to gay couples. What the fuck!? It’s gone downhill from there, I’m afraid.
There were three big laws gays and lesbians wanted changed. We were promised; we were assured that these would be changed. (I’ve listed these in order of ease of passage.)
- Overturning the ban on openly gay soldiers, known as Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT)
- Implementing a nationwide anti-discrimination law, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA)
- Ending DOMA
The DADT repeal has had a number of high ranking officials in the military, this administration, and has over 70 percent public support. They are going nowhere. Fast.
We were told that ENDA would be law by the end of 2009. But, there hasn’t even been a hearing in Congress on that one. There has been no action.
What is the problem? Do the Democrats not want to govern? Straight people have started to see the trouble brewing. Look at Health Care Reform.
This same disorganized, flailing, with a lack of talking points — hell, lack of leadership — that is happening with health care started over six months ago with gays and lesbians.
I don’t know the solution, but I have some ideas. Gays and lesbians should vote for anyone but the Democrat. It’s not likely that many gays and lesbians would realistically vote for a Republican, considering they are absolutely set against any rights for us.
I think that even if the result is a Republican win, maybe a loss will force the Democrats to get some adequate leadership. It should be possible to secure gay rights (and health care) victories.
I mean, what are the fucking Democrats waiting for? They have the best chance at passing things now. I wonder if the Democrats haven’t yet figured out that the Republicans are going to vote down everything the Democrats attempt to pass. The Democrats have a fucking majority.
The Republicans passed more substantial legislation with a smaller majority than the Democrats have now. If the Republicans want two wars to look brave and massive Medicare drug benefits to buy off the senior vote, all while cutting taxes to benefit the already obscenely rich who already have less of a tax burden than most in the middle class — they get it done.
Where the fuck are the Democrats?
(crickets)
For gays and lesbians to get marriage rights, I guess we’ll have to have sit-ins at the licensing offices. Because asking the Democrats to fix the laws is obviously asking too much. And we know that if we ask the courts to declare the laws unconstitutional, that, too, is obviously asking too much.
I’m as mad as hell… and I’m not going to take this anymore.
